Hi all
I hope all is well and if not I hope you gain the strength and ability to get to where you want to be.
In my previous post I mentioned this new found journey I am on that includes me doing a journal entry nightly. What I didn’t mention is that with each topic I use it as a chance to reflect on myself, my life wether past or present experiences and just a way to open up. I’m a closed off person. I tend to keep all my emotions and problems bottled up until I snap. But I’ve come to realize thats not healthy and I’m working on it. So If I write one sentence or ten, I just make sure I’m being honest and true to myself.
Tonight’s journal topic was I am… Now my first answer came to mind immediately, the others took me a minute or so to think about. (Remember reflection and thought is key.)
I am
Tired
A mother
stepping into a new version of me
changing
loved
learning and growing
Learning to be more positive
At first glance nothing seems wrong with this list right? But like I said I’m being honest with myself. In this current moment I am tired and ready to go to bed so that makes sense, right? Ok cool.
Second answer I am a mother. An amazing mother at that. See my thing is since conceiving I have kinda lost my sense of identity. I always say I’m a mother before anything which in a way I am. & dont get me wrong describing yourself as a mother in your list of qualities or characteristics isn’t wrong, but it SHOULD NOT be the only focal point of describing yourself. So yes I am a mother, but I am also a woman, daughter , sister, God mother, aunt, future wife, etc. I have to get out of the habit of letting motherhood be my only quality I feel worthy of talking about.
My third answer is where you can tell I finally start reflecting and thinking. A couple weeks ago I seen a post on Instagram from a page in a book. In that time frame is when I realized enough is enough. I was ready to live the life I wanted and stop letting life pass me by. I am in the season of me or my soft girl era as some say. &I am so happy for my growth. I am learning that my independence is a blessing and something great but also a trauma mechanism. I am so use to only being able to depend on myself that I’ve convinced myself that’s all I have. When I’m actuality i have family and friends. Who although can’t relate to most of the things I go through are willing to be listening ears and help me anyway possible. Which is why I’m so happy about answers 4,5 & 6. But me changing isn’t just my mindset , it’s my upkeep, my aura, image, the way I carry myself. For years I was into makeup but for the life of me couldn’t get my eyebrows to look presentable so I would give up. February of this year I got my eyebrows micro bladed and it was a complete game changer. Now I love a beat face. I will go very few places without doing my makeup first and I love that for me.
Lastly answer 7, in my last post I went over why being positive is now so important to me. I don’t like being in the sunken place. I hate when I feel like I have nothing worth smiling or being happy about. FYI you can love you child(ren) and they can make you the happiest person on earth but if you aren’t happy within yourself it won’t be enough. At the end of the day when I have that one thing to look back on it makes each day feel worth while. Like okay even if today didn’t go as planned something good still came out of it. And to have the mindset is amazing. It takes strength to know your triggers and be able to turn it into something else.
This is all something fairly new to me, but I am already so happy with each day turn. Doing the journal post and the positive thing of day doesn’t even take me five minutes to do. But the impact it has on my mental state of mind would be worth it if it took longer. If you feel like this is something that can benefit you I hope you are willing to give it a shot. I’ll list a few journal topics below. And until next time.…
*The post I seen on instagram
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You can visit https://blog.gratefulness.me/self-reflection-journaling-ideas-for-you/amp/ for more prompts.
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